funy sms

Jab Koi Baat Bigarh Jaye,
Jab Koi Mushkil Parh Jaye,
Tou..
Tou..
Tou..
,,(“.)< ) )>JL
Tou Main Kiya Karoon..??
NIPTO KHUD . . . ! ; )--------------------------------------------------------------O mere makhnameno yaad rakhnahar vely hasna,Koe problem howy ty dasna,kise hor nal na phasna,bus mere nal vasna
O mere makhnaKaisa hy ye sms zaror dasna--------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning…Have u done two of the most important things whenyou wakeup today?a) Pray, so that u may live…b) Take a bath-so that others may live too!
--------------------------------------------------------------Memon k ghar twins peda hoyeKisi dost ne kaha: Mubarak ho 2 bachay peda hoye hainMemon: Aray yar bas ek kaafi tha, bas tumhari bhabhi ko fuzool kharchay ki aadat hai!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Night Was Dark
Moon Was High
Boy Stopped His Bike
Girl Asked Why ? ? ?
Boy Came Close
She Felt Shy
He Told In Her Ear
DHAKKA MAAR
PEtrol KhattamHo Gya Yaar . . .--------------------------------------------------------------It can buy a HouseBut not a HomeIt can buy a BedBut not SleepIt can buy a ClockBut not TimeIt can buy you a BookBut not KnowledgeIt can buy you a PositionBut not RespectIt can buy you MedicineBut not HealthIt can buy you BloodBut not LifeSo you see, Money isn’t everything. And it often causes pain and suffering.I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering…--------------------------------------------------------------
If people says you are crazy, be patiend.if they say you are monkey, relax. if they say you are stupid,be cool but if they say you are smart, Thapad maar sale ko.--------------------------------------------------------------Machar marnay ka tareqa!Pehle 1 zinda machar pakrain, phir usay zameen pe lita dein aur usay gudgudi karain jaisay hi machar hasne k liye moon kholay to usay MORTEIN pila dein.--------------------------------------------------------------Pathan Date per gaya aur Khaana khaanay k baad Girlfriend se bola: Main aik baat poochoon bura to nahi maanogi?Girl: Poocho na……Pathan: Tumhaaray pas Naswaar hay?--------------------------------------------------------------Boy1: Yar ladki ko I love you kehne k liye sabse achi jagah konsi hai?Boy2: MazaarBoy1: wo kyon?Boy2: kyon k wahan ladkion ne chappal nahi pehni hoti..!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Dermatologist: Good news! test results report that you will no longer be plagued by pimples.Girl: Great, how come?Dermatologist: There is no more space left.--------------------------------------------------------------Child: Mom is bar ham saray patakhay is shop se lengayMom: Laken ye to girls hostel hai?Child: Papa to kehte hain k sari phuljhariyan yehi rehti hain…!!!--------------------------------------------------------------You are genius, ur mind is a masterpiece. It is divided into left & right. In the left part nothing is right & in the right part nothing is left.--------------------------------------------------------------Duniya gol hai!Chooha billi se darta hai, Billi kuttay se darti hai, kutta banday se darta hai, banda biwi se darta hai aur biwi choogay se darti hai… hai na duniya gol :)--------------------------------------------------------------Ants were taking bath, Elephant jumped in the pool, All ants got out of water. One ant climbed on the back of elephant. All ants shouted “Duba Duba k maar salay ko”.--------------------------------------------------------------Allah ne tumhe paida kiya k tum uski ibadat karo, rozay rakho, namaz perho, Quran perho, uska zikr karo deeni kitabein perho per tum…. tum…. tum SMS perh rahay ho, SHARAM karo.--------------------------------------------------------------Mohabbat 1 baar hojaye usko bhola pan kehte hain. 2 baar hojaye usay deewana pan kehte hain, 3 baar hojaye usay pagal pan kehte hain… Agar phir bhi na rukay to usay kameena pan kehte hain.--------------------------------------------------------------Everybody wants someone special, nice, cute, smart, sweet, honest…. tabhi to main sochon saray mere peechay kyon paray hain.--------------------------------------------------------------Khabardaar! Miss call sehet k liye muzir hai, tabiyat ziada kharab ho to call karain, Tamam SMS Maan ki puhunch se door rakhain, Vizarate - TUM, Hukumate - HUM--------------------------------------------------------------Teacher 2 student: Translate this into english “Saddar bazar main goliyan chal rahi hain”Student: The tablets are walking in president’s maket.--------------------------------------------------------------Kash tum meri bakri hoti, main tumko chara diata pani pilata aur tumharay seengh pakar pakar k tumhain kehta… bata ham dono main se pagal kon aur tum kehti… MAINNNNNN--------------------------------------------------------------So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.A more true Friend you will never find:-)--------------------------------------------------------------ApplicationToThe Dost I Miss u
SubjectKahan ho?
I beg 2 say that i’m student of ur Heart,im very lonelyMera jee nahi lag rahaSo kindly grant me A msg!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Meri dua hai k ap taraqi karo, ooper jao, itna ooper jao… itna ooper jao k FARISHTAY khud kahain “Nawa aya hai soniya”.--------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Kalam behter hai ya talwar?Answer: Kalam behter hai kyon k talwar se ap shalwar main nara nahi daal saktay.
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Ek aadmi bhagta hoa bus main charha aur zor se chillaya, khabardaar koi apni jagah se nahi hilega…… Basheer KULFI wala khud apke pass ayega :)--------------------------------------------------------------raj hema ka dance dekhne gaya, Dance k baad Nargis sharma k boli - Jee wo paisay?
raj: Chal pagli, ab tere se bhi paisay lunga kia?--------------------------------------------------------------Ufone paish karta hai “12 aanay package” apne un “JAZZ” sarfeen k liye jinho ne 1st September 2008 se apni TELENOR ki sim istimaal nahi ki, WARID ka 100 wala card load karo aur SAB KEH DO.--------------------------------------------------------------Ek molve film actor se masjid k liye chanda mangnay gaya.Actor: Ap log to kehte hain k hamara paisa napak hai?Molvi: Jee is paisay se ham toilet banain ge.--------------------------------------------------------------History teacher: From where to where did the mughals rule?Student: Sir i am not sure but i think from page 15 to 26.--------------------------------------------------------------Dad: Beta is bar exams main tumhe 90% marks lene hain kuch bhi kar k.Beta: Nahi dad, is bar to main 100% marks longaDad: Beta kyon mazaq kar rahe ho?Beta: Shorro kis ne kiya?--------------------------------------------------------------Ek lady train se utri, ek pathan se poocha ye konsa station hai?
Pathan ne socha… socha… socha… socha… socha phir bola
“Baji ye Railway Station hai”--------------------------------------------------------------Oye Mere Dost, Mere Program Ke Host,
Andheron Ke Ghost, Double Anday Ke Toast,
Bhuji Huwi Lamp Post, Murghi Ke Roast,
“I MISS U THE MOST”
Life Was Lonely,
No One Was There,
I Had No Good Friend,
And When U Came Into My Life,
I Realised That…
:
:
:
“Akele He Theek Tha Yaar”.. ;-)--------------------------------------------------------------If I was an artist,you would be my picture!If I was a poet,you would be my inspiration!If I was an author you would be my story!
But I’m only a cartoonist!--------------------------------------------------------------When a man opens the door of his car for his girlfriend,you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the girlfriend :D--------------------------------------------------------------Main ney uss sey pocha - Tumhey kiya Chahiye Faraz…Sharma Kar Boli: Bas Eik Naya Cannection - Talk Shawk ka…--------------------------------------------------------------1 Hand on Horn1 Hand on Gear 1 Ear listening songs1 Ear on Mobile1 Foot on Accelerator1 Foot on Cluch& Eyes on Girls
Mujhe 2 cheezain buhut yad ati hainEk apki yaad… Jo buhut ati haiDoosri LIGHT… Jo buhut jaati hai--------------------------------------------------------------Way to impress girl: Respect her, honor her, love her, protect her, care 4 her, obey her, sacrifice 4 her.How to impress a boy? Just smile once :)--------------------------------------------------------------Pathan ko ek jadoo ka charagh mila, usne usko ragra to jin nikla, jin ne kaha 3 wishes batao.Pathan: 1 khoobsurat alishan ghar ho… ghar agayaPathan: us main buhut ameer log rehte hon… log agayePathan: ab humko wahan chokidar lagwa do--------------------------------------------------------------Khan to his friend: ye jo table pe admi hay mujhe buhut bura lagta hai.Friend: table pe to 4 admi hainKhan: wo jis ki moonchein hainFriend: moonchein to sabki hainKhan: wo jis k safaid kapray hainFriend: wo to sabke safaid hainKhan ne pistol nikala aur 3 admiyon ko maar kar bola… Ye jo reh gaya hai isko ham nahi choray ga.--------------------------------------------------------------Chinese aur memon train main safar kar rahay thay… Achanak 1 machar aa k chinese k sir pe betha, chinese ne pakra aur kha gaya.Thodi dair baad ek aur machar aya aur memon k sar pe betha, memon ne usay pakra aur chinese ki taraf berhatay hoye kaha…. Khareeday ga?--------------------------------------------------------------Malika sherawat at aiport:Bhikari: Behen ji 1 rupya de do!!!Malika gave him 1,000/- Ruppes… Secretory asked, why u gave him thousand rupees?Malika: Pehli baar kisi ne behen kaha hai.--------------------------------------------------------------Khudi ko kar kanjoos itna k her sms bhejne se pehle service center walay call kar k poochay… aaj SMS kar rahay ho, khariyat to hai???--------------------------------------------------------------A famous Chinese saying: Talking once with a genius is equal to the knowledge of reading books for one month… So feel free to call me anytime :-)--------------------------------------------------------------Ek bar 300 pathan ship me travel kar rahay thay, Laken sab k sab maray gaye.. Kaisay?Nothing serious… Ship beech main kharab hogayi to sab dhakka denay neechay utar gaye--------------------------------------------------------------Isko kehte hain….......Saaf suthra SMS :-)--------------------------------------------------------------A man in USA saw a dog attacking a lady, he kicked the dog - it died.Newspaper reported: Local hero saved lady from a crazy dog!Man said, I am not AmericanReport changed to: Foreign hero saved lady from a crazy dog!Man said, Actually I am PakistaniReport changed to: Terrorist killed an innocent dog.--------------------------------------------------------------SMS Rates:1995 Rs. 52000 Rs. 42002 Rs. 32005 Rs. 22006 Rs. 12007 Rs 0.52008 FREEAp sms kab karo gay? Jab sms karne k paisay milengay.--------------------------------------------------------------Kya aap jante hain k dunya mai sab se intelligent kon hai???Zahir haiAAPto ho nhi sktetoKOI AUR HI HOGA--------------------------------------------------------------WARNING ! ! !This is a VIRUS . . .When you turn your phone off it WON’T WORK AGAIN--------------------------------------------------------------Meherbaan, kadardaan, dekh tamasha meri jaan, ye bander abhi sms parhega aur muskuraye ga aur sms forward kar k apni hoshiyari dikhaye ga… Taliyan!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Congratulations! you are rewarded the degree of MBA for not sending me SMS, MBA Stands for “MEMBER OF BEWAFA ASSOCIATION”.--------------------------------------------------------------
Ek din bandar bola: Maan meri dulhan kon hai, please meri shadi karwa doMaan: Dekh teri dulhan sms perh rahi hai, agar perh k muskurayi to samjho shadi pakki.--------------------------------------------------------------
WOW kia andaz hai, kia action hai, kia style hai or kia smile hai… msg to karte nahi ho aur fakhar se kehte ho mere pass mobile hai.--------------------------------------------------------------Jo mujhe abhi msg na bheje wo…?wo thodi dair baad bhi bhej sakta hai koi tension nahi.--------------------------------------------------------------Dad: Beta batao jan kahan se nikalti hai?Son: Khirki seDad: Wo kaisay?Son: Kal jab ap raat ko ghar aye to mom uncle ko keh rahi theen k Jaan khirki se nikal jao.--------------------------------------------------------------Teacher: Boys, apko Amir Khan aur Kajol ki film FANAA se kia lession mila?Boys: Andhi, Langri, Behri, Goongi… Jo bhi milay phasa lo.--------------------------------------------------------------Subha se le kar sham tak, sham se le kar raat tak, raat se le kar subha tak, subha se phir shaam tak…. Bas kia bataon light ne tang kiya hoa hai.--------------------------------------------------------------Ek sardar pani pee raha thaa… … … … Ab kia sardar pani bhi nahi pee sakta? Is main bhi joke chahiyeh tum logon ko?--------------------------------------------------------------Teacher: Everyone write your lover name on a paperAfter 2 seconds,Girls: Finished Madam
After 10 minutes,Boys: Extra Sheet Please!!!
Meri dukh bhari kahani suno?u?W;-(?r!?+9?!tg:”?gm?:-(-dl?
Dekha AAP bhi mere jazbaat nahi samajh paye :-(--------------------------------------------------------------Testing your blood, please wait…33% complete… 66% complete… 100% DoneReport: HIV+Means: Honey In Veins (Thats why you are so sweet)--------------------------------------------------------------Man to sheikh: Yar kal mein tenu kini wari call kiti, per too phone hi nahi chukiyaSheikh: kyon chukan? jera main 20 rupay da gana lawaya hai O tera piyo sunay ga?--------------------------------------------------------------1 murgha murghi k peechay bhag raha tha k achanak murghi train k neechay aagayi aur mar gayi.Murgha bola: Marhooma buhut naik thee, Jaan de di laken pappi nahi dii--------------------------------------------------------------Pathan: Molvi sahab, kia wazu k baghair namab ho jati hai?Molvi: nahi hotiPathan: hojati hai yaraMolvi: aray bhai nahi hotiPathan: Mene khud perh k dekhi hai, hojati hai.--------------------------------------------------------------Heigh of Rishtedari:Ek lerka gadhay k saamne gir gaya, ek khoobsurat lerki ne dekh liya or boli, Apne baray bhai k paon choo rahay ho?Lerka: Jee haan bhabhi jee.--------------------------------------------------------------When I send you sms it doesn’t mean that you have to do the same….… you can also send fruits, drinks, pizza chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques are also accepted.--------------------------------------------------------------3+3=8kaisay hoa?… batao bataothoda sa brain use karo…nahi maalooom?now stop using your mind… main bataon?GHALTI SE--------------------------------------------------------------Propose karne ka ek dum jhakaas style…Kia ghoor ghoor k dekhti hai… Maar dalay gi kia..?Dil dena hai to de de, Rakh k achaar dalay gi kia…??--------------------------------------------------------------Father: How were the exam questions?Son: They were easy but I had trouble with the answers.--------------------------------------------------------------A Camel, cow & a Donkey discusing who is the bestCamel: i help in moving heavy loadsCow: i give milk…… Kuch to bol yar teri izzat ka sawal ha…--------------------------------------------------------------A student grabbed a coin, Flipped it in the air & said,“Head, I go to sleep.”Tail, I watch a movie. If it stands on the edge I’ll study--------------------------------------------------------------New style of proposing:I have spent many sleepless nights in your love and I don’t want my son to do the same for your daughter… so lets make them brother and sister.--------------------------------------------------------------Wife:What is 10 years with me?Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.Husband:Wait a second--------------------------------------------------------------Barsat ki us raat, woh larki, us ki geeli zulfain, us ke bheegay huay kapray dekh ke dil ne kahaYe ullu ki pathi zaroor beemar ho gi :D
Jab Bhi Koi Khubsurat Larki Aap Ko “BHAI” Bole,
To Udas Mat Hona, “BHAI” Ki Full Form Hai..
B: Beautiful
H: Husband
A:Among
I: Ideals
Matlab Sab Se Behtaren Husband… :-)
Acha Bhala Friend Tha--------------------------------------------------------------”’.(’.’).‘< )(>‘_/’\_
Mene!!!!!!!
< ‘)(’> Gardan…._/’\_. Ura di salay ki
SMS nhi krtatha..HuN!!!!!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Movies related touniversity life.
1.Exam-Evil dead
2.Classes-kabhi kabhi
3.Vivaencounter
4.Examination hall-chamber of secret5.ExaminerDon
6.Course-Godzilla
7.Paper checking-Andha Qaanon
8.Exam time-Qiamat se Qiamat tak
9.Question paper-Aik paheli
10.Answer paper-Kora kagaz
11.Paper out-Plan
12.Result-Sadma
13.Pass-Chamatkar
14.Fail-Devdas
15.Vacation-Masti
16.Supplementary-Akhri raSta.
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Different between husband and gadha?
Husband gadha ban sakta hai, but gadha itna gadha nahi hota k husband ban jaye :)--------------------------------------------------------------After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”--------------------------------------------------------------Question: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?Ans. Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.--------------------------------------------------------------Wife: kash main newspaper hoti din bhar tumharay hathon me rehtiHusband: meri bhi yehi dua hai rab se, isi bahanay her roz nayi nahi to milti--------------------------------------------------------------“Ghari aur biwi main kia farq hai?ek bigarti hai to band hojati hai aur doosri bigarti hai to chaaloo hojati hai.”--------------------------------------------------------------
Girl: If we get married, you will stop smoking?Boy: OKGirl: Drinking too?Boy: OKGirl: Stop going to the night club?Boy: OKGirl: What else you can leave?Boy: Idea of Marry You :)--------------------------------------------------------------Ek baat kahon bura to nahi manao gay?Mujy Ap Se P.. Pi..Piy..Piya..Piyaa..Piyaaz,,Aalu mangwane thay..!--------------------------------------------------------------Larki: Ammi Baher Fauji Aa Rahe Hain..Maan: Beti Andar Aaja Faujion Ki Niyat Kharab Hoti Hai..Larki: Ammi Fauji Pathan Hain..Maan: Beti Phir Bhai Ko Bhi Andar Le Aa--------------------------------------------------------------Load sheding k benefits:Generator, UPS & Candle walon ko rozgar ki farahmiMobile Charge na honay ki wajah se balance aur time savingSabar karne ki wajah se Jannat…!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Hard work never killed anybody”But why take the risk.--------------------------------------------------------------“Your future depends on your dreams”So go to sleep.--------------------------------------------------------------If your father is a poor man,It is your fate but,If your father-in-law is a poor man,it’s your stupidity.--------------------------------------------------------------
Sitaron se agay jahan aur bhi hain, abhi mohabbat k imtihan aur bhi haintum hi nahi jalatay ho dil ko mere, college me lerkiyan aur bhi hain--------------------------------------------------------------Wo choom lai ek baar to ati nahi neend, unki awaz sunte sunte raat jati hai beetisliye kehta hon ye risk na uthao… MORTEIN JALAO MACHAR BHAGAO!!!--------------------------------------------------------------Rab se dua karte hain k mere dost ko khushyon ka sansaar milay,aur jo hamain sms nahi karta usay apni girl friend se sister jaisa pyar milay
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Life Was Lonely,
No One Was There,
I Had No Good Friend,
And When U Came Into My Life,
I Realised That…
:
:
:
“Akele He Theek Tha Yaar”.. ;-)--------------------------------------------------------------Banane wale ne ek Dost mere liye banaya, Jise Aap ke rup me maine paya,Jo mere dil me aise samaya, Jaise purani haveli me ho BHOOT ka saaya!--------------------------------------------------------------Udhar aap majboor bethay hain, Idher ham majboor bethe hainBaat ho to aakhir kaisay ho, Jab dono taraf 2 kanjoos bethe hain--------------------------------------------------------------Jabse tumhe jana hai, Jabse tumhe paya haiHer dua main tera hi naam aya hai, Ya rab ye kaisa namoona banaya hai--------------------------------------------------------------I want a kiss from you
surprized??
but why??
aray baba
Kiss means
K> KoiI> Intresting saS> smsS> send karo
so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!--------------------------------------------------------------Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit.--------------------------------------------------------------Dil me aap…. Dharkan main aap… Aankhon main aapSaanso main aap… Jahan bhi dekho aap hi aapDettol wali aunty sach kehti hainJARASEEM har jagha hotay hain--------------------------------------------------------------I want to say a word to Uthat starts with Uand ends on Uand that defines U…. its ULLU …--------------------------------------------------------------A - u r activeB - u r bestC - u r cuteD - u r dashingE - u r excellentF - u r always firstG - u r great…. sorry Z tak jhoot bolne ki himmat mujh main nahi hai.--------------------------------------------------------------Life without you is impossible. You are i my breath and blood and I can’t stay 4 a second without you. If you are not there I am dead…. ooo hello, I am talking about OXYGEN.--------------------------------------------------------------Ap mujhe ek jagha se buhut achay lagtay hain, pata hai kahan se?
...Door se :)--------------------------------------------------------------Kal ho “aaj” jaisa, phool ho “gulab” jaisamahal ho “taj” jaisa aur zindagi k har kadam pe dost ho to… oo hello, dost ho to “mujh” jaisa :)--------------------------------------------------------------Height of flirting: writing a love letter with the title as “To whom it may concern”--------------------------------------------------------------Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out too, then people started shouting “TWINS TWINS”--------------------------------------------------------------If ever in your life you are very sad and lonely and feel that you have lost everything, I will come, hold your hand take you 4 walk on a bridge and show you where 2 just from.--------------------------------------------------------------